I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
