No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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