the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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