sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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