I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
