i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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