I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
how drunk are you?
Several
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
