Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
