Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
