No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
