I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
