I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
