Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
