I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
