pedialite and red bull = repair kit
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
