a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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