TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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