She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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