Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
