just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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