Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think your dad took our porno
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
