I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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