I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
two words...techno handjob
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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