I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
