you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
