Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
