my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize