Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
