you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
