Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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