I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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