nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
