She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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