i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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