I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
