She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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