did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
