I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
