You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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