I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
