She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
