Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
