the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Boobs are out for the taking
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
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