I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
