I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
