it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He passed out mid-signature
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
