i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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