I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
