I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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