I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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